Over the last few weeks I've been having a really hard time with my mental health. I've started my new job and although I'm really enjoying it and loving every second of it, it means that I'm a lot busier than I use to be. I work 6-7 days a week with my three jobs and the reason why I wanted to be so busy was so that I could keep my mind off some of the things that have been bothering me recently and causing me issues. This did work at the start but now I feel like it's starting to go the other way and I'm beginning to burn the candle at both ends and burn myself out. I thought I was starting to get my life together a little but then I realised, I really wasn't. I was just distracting myself and not really trying to enjoy myself and get better.
What I've learn over the last week I would say is to appreciate the little things in life and enjoy the smaller moments and really savour them. I think that when you do suffer from anxiety and depression it can be difficult to appreciate these moments and overlook them because we're so focused on the negative. I found when I did have time and I wasn't working, I wasn't appreciating the small things and enjoying the little moments that I had with my friends or with my family.
It's so important when you're having a tough time to look at the positives and focus on that rather than the negative stuff going on in the back of your mind. I can often get consumed by the bad thoughts and it doesn't allow me to even have fun and I've realised how important it is to let go and just enjoy yourself. So here are some moments that have made me ridiculously happy and I keep looking back on whenever I'm feeling a bit shit to remind me that I can be happy and not sad or anxious the whole time.
So this is my good friend Miss Caitlyn, I met her through a work friend and for the last two years we have worked together at Explore. I literally love working with her in the centre, she makes me laugh and her being there calms me down a lot when I'm having a bad day. A load of us went to Nandos before training and as per, Caitlyn gets a her ketchup for her chips and burger. So she decided to get the ketchup down from the bottom of the bottle and turns it upside down and wacks it. However, the top of the bottle wasn't on properly and she got a lot of ketchup all over the table as well as her phone. I laughed so hard a bit of snot came out of my nose. She's an awesome friend and always there to listen to me, she's got my back no matter what.
Meet Dylan, he's a baby and started working where I work about two months ago and oh my god, I am so glad he did. He is legit the funniest guy I've ever met and such an awesome friend. He's sitting on a booster seat in this photo because he's only just turned 17 and we thought it was hilarious at the time. Again, he makes work so funny sometimes, like the other day he grabbed my leg while he was sitting down and both of us ended up falling over. He's like my little brother and I love spending time with him. He can be so annoying sometimes but most of the time he is actually pretty funny and full of the banter, even if he does spend £100 on shoes that aren't even that nice. I've just had some really awesome and hilarious moments with him over the past month or so and I'm glad he's been there for me. He's like the little brother I never had and he's the best. He has featured in a lot of my Snapchat stories recently, he's alright I guess.
For those of you who don't know, I'm also a social media ambassador for my university, UWTSD. I write blogs and promote the university on my professional Twitter account. A month or so ago I was asked by one of the staff members if they could feature one of my blogs in a paper. I said yes of course and kinda forgot about it for a while. Then one of my housemates sent me this picture and said that my landlord at my uni house had left it in the kitchen for us to see. I don't know why but this made me ridiculously happy. I am dyslexic but something that I wrote is in a newspaper and it's the first thing ever that I've written to be in one. I've never really considered myself a good writer or that I could ever write anything that anyone would want to publish or read and now I realise that may not be completely true. So this is something that I am completely chuffed about and cannot believe that something I've written has actually been published. It's actually insane.
A week or so ago my brothers and my Dad went to see the new Star Trek movie and I didn't want to go so I dog sat my brother and my sister in laws dog, Nikki. I love this dog to pieces and she makes me realise how much I want to have a dog later on in life. My Mum and I took her for a walk down to this place called Polesden Lacey and it was just amazing to see her run around the place and see her so happy. She wouldn't leave my side and she insisted on sitting on my lap on the car journey there.
I think the most tranquil thing to happen to me over the past month was when I fed my horses and there was a full moon so it was pretty bright. I lay in the field where my horses are and looked up at the stars while they were grazing quietly around me. Dizzie, my pony, also came up and sniffed me then licked my arm which was pretty nice. It just felt so perfect and relaxing, I couldn't have asked for a better moment if I'm completely honest. It felt like something out of a movie.
What I'm trying to get at is that even though it has been hard for me recently, mental health wise, I'm still trying really hard to focus on the good things that has happened to me and made me smile. These are just a few examples, ever since I've been trying to enjoy the little things in life things just seem to be so much brighter and it feels like I've been smiling a lot more than I use to before. I would highly recommend to write down some amazing stuff that's happened to you guys over the past month and just remember how wonderful it was. You will always be able to create memories like that so instead of feeling down it's so important to go out and make those memories, I know how easy it can be to lock yourself away, but it'll make a world of a difference to go out and at least try to have fun.
Stay awesome
It's so important when you're having a tough time to look at the positives and focus on that rather than the negative stuff going on in the back of your mind. I can often get consumed by the bad thoughts and it doesn't allow me to even have fun and I've realised how important it is to let go and just enjoy yourself. So here are some moments that have made me ridiculously happy and I keep looking back on whenever I'm feeling a bit shit to remind me that I can be happy and not sad or anxious the whole time.
A week or so ago my brothers and my Dad went to see the new Star Trek movie and I didn't want to go so I dog sat my brother and my sister in laws dog, Nikki. I love this dog to pieces and she makes me realise how much I want to have a dog later on in life. My Mum and I took her for a walk down to this place called Polesden Lacey and it was just amazing to see her run around the place and see her so happy. She wouldn't leave my side and she insisted on sitting on my lap on the car journey there.
I think the most tranquil thing to happen to me over the past month was when I fed my horses and there was a full moon so it was pretty bright. I lay in the field where my horses are and looked up at the stars while they were grazing quietly around me. Dizzie, my pony, also came up and sniffed me then licked my arm which was pretty nice. It just felt so perfect and relaxing, I couldn't have asked for a better moment if I'm completely honest. It felt like something out of a movie.
What I'm trying to get at is that even though it has been hard for me recently, mental health wise, I'm still trying really hard to focus on the good things that has happened to me and made me smile. These are just a few examples, ever since I've been trying to enjoy the little things in life things just seem to be so much brighter and it feels like I've been smiling a lot more than I use to before. I would highly recommend to write down some amazing stuff that's happened to you guys over the past month and just remember how wonderful it was. You will always be able to create memories like that so instead of feeling down it's so important to go out and make those memories, I know how easy it can be to lock yourself away, but it'll make a world of a difference to go out and at least try to have fun.
Stay awesome
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