The Importance of Colouring

I thought I would start of with an apology, I'm so sorry that I didn't post a blog on Wednesday. I was feeling quite overwhelmed and stressed because I have been working myself so hard, so I took a day out to look after myself and my mental health. I felt like writing and editing a blog would push me over the edge of my anxiety which is why it wasn't posted. I have this Wednesday's blog planned so hopefully that will be up on Wednesday but for now lets get into this blog and the importance of colouring. 

I wrote a blog post on what I was putting in my crisis box around April time and something I put in there has been helping me massive amounts. For those who haven't read that blog, a crisis box is a box filled with things that will de-stress you, cheer you up and help you distract from any emotional distress that you're feeling at that current moment in time. It gives you a place to go when you are having a crisis and helps you deal with it, hopefully preventing you from harming yourself or having a panic attack or whatever. 

In my crisis box I put two colouring books, I hadn't coloured properly since I was in primary school. I colour with the kids at work sometimes but it's not really the same as having your own colouring book that you use to de-stress you. The first colouring book I put in was a mindfulness colouring book and then the other one was an animal one. I'll put the links of the colouring books on Amazon at the end of this blog so you can see them and purchase them if you want to. When I put them in I didn't really think I would use them at all, colouring isn't really my thing and I didn't get really excited when the hype of adult colouring books happened. I just thought they'd be in there and I would use them occasionally, and I did over the course of the last term of uni. I found myself playing with other things in my crisis box and I really only coloured one page in my mindfulness colouring book over the course of a couple of months.

However, since being home and literally being so busy I've found myself using colouring to calm myself down even more. After a long day at work, or working a 15 hour day I love cuddling up in bed with my colouring book and having a Disney film on in the background. It helps me unwind so much and allows me to feel completely stress free. I never thought it would be something that I would want to do or enjoy doing but I find it so satisfying experimenting with colour and finishing off a colouring page. I like too turn the dull white into something bright and full of colour, it's just so satisfying looking at where you started to where you came. And you literally can choose any colour you want, there is no right or wrong answer which is something I really, really love. 

I really find it hard to unwind and switch off. When I'm not doing work I feel like I'm being unproductive or lazy, I feel like I have to be doing something 24/7 and so using the colouring books helped me with the ability to switch off and realise it's okay to take a break every so often. 

Don't take my word for it though, there's actually been a load of research into colouring and the benefits of it in adults, not just in children so I thought I would share a few of them with you. I find this sort of stuff fascinating so thought I might as well include it. Colouring helps you brain to focus because of course, making sure you stay in the lines takes a lot of focus, but not so much that it causes stress in the brain, it allows you to forget your worries, and colouring trains you to put all the negative stuff aside and focus on just colouring for the time you spend doing it. Colouring also allows the fear part of your brain to relax, which in turn relaxes you. Colouring is almost like meditating and it can help you retrain your brain to react less harshly to stress when it does occur in your life. So there is just a few examples of why colouring can really help with de-stressing and making you less anxious in life. 

I've really been focusing in on doing colouring over the last few weeks and I try to schedule at least half an hour of colouring in a day, usually in the evening after I've finished all my work. I can honestly say that it's completely helped me with my anxiety and stress levels. So if you're umming and ahhing about starting colouring and you weren't entirely sure about the benefits, just do it! Honestly, it was the best decision I ever made to incoroperate colouring into my life and I don't regret spending a couple of quid on these books and some colouring pencils. It's totally worth it when I feel so calm and clear headed. 

Stay awesome. 

Mindfulness Colouring Book

Animal Colouring Book 

A Family Visit

So this is a different blog post than I would normally write, this one is a bit more diary like with some insights and thoughts about different things that happened during this day. But I had a really awesome time with my Nan and I wanted to write about it. I took her to see my Uncle Mark's grave and some of the stuff that happened in that time really have a profound effect on me and I wanted to share it with you as well.

I've mentioned in my previous FAQ blog that my Nan is one of the most inspirational women in my life and that's because she is so amazing. She's been through hell and back and is still such a strong woman who still gives all the love she can to everyone. One of the things she had to go through is losing her son. 

My Uncle committed suicide at the age of 27, 29 years ago. I never knew him, I only know him through my family. I don't know the exact details surrounding his death and what pushed him to take his own life, I just know that one day he couldn't take it anymore. It's always been a little weird for me because my whole life my Uncle has been referred to, my cousin Mark is even named after him but I obviously never had the chance to meet him or his two sons, Darren and Stephen. My Nan always told me how troubled he was as a boy and how it carried on into his adulthood and eventually lead to his death. Whenever he's mentioned I can see the hurt in my Nan's eyes and in her voice when she talks about him. She had to bury her son, he died before his time and it's something she will never get over. I wish I could take away the pain but I can't. Mark was her son and no one could save him. It's a tragedy really. 

Anyway, it's coming up to his birthday this month, I believe he would his 56th birthday if he was still alive. At Christmas and his birthday my Nan and Aunt, Karen, like to go to his grave to pay their respects and put new fabric flowers down on his grave. I've never been before and my Nan asked me to take her and Karen down to do this. They only go a couple of times because the taxi down there is so expensive for them both. I was a bit nervous at first because obviously I've never been and I didn't know what to expect. I didn't know if my Nan would cry or if the cemetery would be very morbid and depressing, what happened there was not something I ever thought would happen.

Mark's grave is in Aylesham on top of a massive hill, kinda in the middle of no where. We walked around to his grave and to get to his actual stone we had to walk on some grass. My Nan recently had a nasty fall so she's really quite worried about falling over again, so she asked to hold my hand for support. I haven't held my Nan's hand like that in around 15 years. We hug and we kiss and stuff like that but I haven't held her hand like that in such a long time. It really struck me how comfortable and natural it felt. I haven't really held a family members hand like that for ages, I've held boyfriends and friends hands like that but not a relative. I just couldn't help notice the difference between holding her hand versus holding a boyfriend or friends hand. I felt so incredibly safe and I became quite overwhelmed with emotion.

The feeling of holding my Nan's hand is something that I can hardly describe, but I felt so safe and as though nothing could ever hurt me. It was so wonderful to be able to do it when I am 20 and not a kid. I feel like I appreciated the closeness and intimacy of it a lot more than I ever have done before. I felt almost like I had taken those times that I held her hand for granted when I was a child. My Nan means the world to me and to be able to hold her hands again like I was a kid felt so amazing. I've held kids hands at work and lead them around so I know what it's like to be the safety figure and the comfort for them but for me to go back into the role of a child and feel the comfort from my Nan was incredible. It was so special and I will never ever forget that feeling. It made me wonder when I decided as a child that I no longer needed to hold her hand or when I felt I was too cool to. As a grandparent and a mother you have to let your kids and grand-kids go almost with the whole holding hand thing is something that interested me. Knowing that you may never hold their hand again like that, I really wonder how that feels from that perspective. I guess I'll find out when I become a parent myself.

We got to my Uncle's grave and I just stood there with my Nan while Karen sorted out the flowers and cleaned the grave stone. I had to hold back the tears. I have never seen my Nan more quiet and sad in my life. She kissed her hand and placed it on the top of the grave then whispered "I'll always love you and never forget you". We only stayed there for about ten minutes before looking around the cemetery but I became just... overwhelmed I guess with all this emotion from holding my Nan's hand and then seeing her so broken and hurt still 29 years on from her sons death. The writing on his grave was beautiful too, I can't remember exactly what it said but it was along the lines of not being able to say goodbye and wishing they were there to hold him with his last breath. It was such a beautiful quote and I wish I could remember it, but I thought it wasn't appropriate to take my phone out and write it down or take a picture of the grave stone.

This visit to the cemetery just made me think so much about things, suicide in particular. There were several times in my life a few years ago, where I tried to end my own life, unsuccessfully, of course. That could have been my mother in 29 years time coming to my grave to place flowers for my birthday. It was 29 years ago and my Nan is still hurting and heartbroken over it all. When you do something as drastic as taking your own life you don't see the path of despair and destruction you leave behind you. It's a very selfish act, and it's so sad that people get to that stage, I know what it's like to be at that stage and you are thinking of no one but yourself. You just want to be free of the torture you are suffering. The one huge thing I took from it was that I was never, ever going to let my Mum go through what my Nan has to go through every single day. My Nan always tells me that she always wonders what life would be like if Mark were still alive and she always misses him. I can't imagine the pain she goes through and I don't want to ever make my mother feel the pain of losing her only daughter.

A bit of a morbid and sad one today I'm afraid, but this small visit had such an effect on me that I just had to talk about it. I probably didn't talk about it in the most coherent way and didn't get everything that I wanted to get out, out, but I said it in the best way I could and I hope you guys get the general gist of what I'm trying to say.

Stay awesome. 

Question and Answer!

If you saw my little note about my blog a few weeks ago you'll know that I asked you guys to send me in some questions for me to answer about my experiences with mental health and anything about me that you want to know! So thank you very much to everyone who asked me questions, there was quite a lot of overlap but here are my answers!

When did you first start to show signs of mental health problems?

Literally from being a baby. I mentioned in my second ever blog post about my anxiety around strangers who are men and this is something that I had forever. My mum always told me that I would cry around strange men and if men held me in particular. It's carried on with me ever since then and I still do have this issue about speaking to men who are strangers and trusting men over women. That's when I first showed any signs of anxiety. Signs of depression came when I was in Year Four, so when I was around seven years old. I had special measures put into place for me at school because sometimes I couldn't cope with the work load or I'd cry, I was allowed to have these little mascots on my table which were comforting for me. The depression was triggered most likely through the divorce of my parents.

How many siblings do you have, do they have any mental health problems?

I have two brothers, a step sister and two step brothers. As far as I'm aware neither of my brothers have any mental health issues. I know my eldest brother has had issues with food before, but really my step sister has the mental health issues. She suffered from an eating disorder and was a prolific self harmer, I haven't spoken to her properly in a long time as she doesn't get on with my step mum so I don't really know how she's doing right now. 

Are you embarrassed about your scars?

Yes. Very. I'm not as embarrassed as I use to be, I use to cover up every part of my body that contained scars that I inflicted on myself, but now I have the confidence to wear shorts or short sleeved tops without being too worried about what people think. The time that I am embarrassed about them the most is when I'm with a new sexual partner. I have words like slut, bitch, whore, fat and die scarred on my legs and it can very often freak them out a little even if they know about my past. I do often worry about how I would tell my kids, if I ever had any, about how and why I got them.

When was the last time you self harmed?

The last time I self harmed was on 28th May, I did a few little cuts and one huge gash on my leg that needed to be stitched up. Joyous times.

Are you in a relationship?

No, I'm not. I don't intend to be for a while. I was seeing someone for a little bit and it didn't exactly go well and I think I just need to take a break from dating and focus on myself.

Who do you look up to the most?

It's got to be my Nan. She is the strongest woman I know and the woman I respect most besides my mother. She's been through a hell of a lot in life and still manages to keep her head up and love us all. She's my last surviving grandparents and I could literally tell her anything. She's so open minded and kind. I hope to be as awesome a mother and grandmother as she is one day.

When was the last time you cried?

This morning because I put the new The 1975 album on to get ready before work and Nana came on and it reminds me of my Nan so I cried like a baby. Sad, but true. Listen to this song! It's so beautiful.

Why did you dye your hair red/When did you dye it red?

The first time I dyed it red was in Feb of 2011 so over five years ago, and I dyed it because I thought it would be cool. I also wanted to look a little like my favourite video game character, Kairi from Kingdom Hearts. Dorky but I don't care, I like the colour for itself now and feel like it suits me so I doubt I would change it anytime soon.

What's the hardest thing you've had to do?

This is a tricky one, but I think breaking up with my boyfriend of over a year, who was abusive towards me. It had been a long time coming and looking back I probably didn't pick the best day to do it. But at the time I just sort of came to the end of my tether and so felt like I had to. I broke up with him the day before we were meant to go out for his one year anniversary present to me, which was to go and see The Lion King in the West End. The reason why this was so hard for me to do was because I had wanted to do it for a long time but felt like I couldn't because of how mentally unstable he was. There were times where I honestly thought he was going to kill me or something like that so I thought if I broke up with him he would do something stupid to either himself or to me. I also wasn't truly prepared to let go of the future we planned together even if I felt like I was trapped. I was scared of being alone and that's probably why I stayed with him as long as I did.

How is your crisis box going?

It's going great! I'm finding having things in there with certain smells is really helping me, especially vanilla smells. I don't know why, but it has helped. I still colour a little now and then, and putting little sweets and stuff in there also really helps me. I also have things that I can use my hands to play with and those are helpful when I want to self harm or whatever. I really recommend making one.

Will you ever make YouTube videos?

I have seriously been considering this for a long time. I've wanted to make videos for ages but have never had to courage to do so. This is like the first step for me in going to do that. I'm still considering it, I would love to but I'm not sure anyone would actually watch my videos.

What video games are you playing right now?

The only thing I'm really playing is Pokemon Go, which I wouldn't really say is a video game. I don't really have time to play the things I use to on actual consoles. But I'm proud of my level 22 on Pokemon Go. I feel like I'm doing pretty well.

What songs can you not stop listening to?

Any songs from The 1975. For a while I couldn't listen to them because they really reminded me of my last ex, but now they don't at all and both of us are happy and have moved on. Which is really awesome and I'm genuinely happy for him. No ill will towards him at all. I was bitter for quite a while but that's all gone now and I wish him every happiness. So I'm now able to listen to my favourite band again. I also have a happy playlist which I like to listen to every so often. All of the songs in my top ten feel good songs blog feature in it.

Okay, I think that's all the questions I'm going to answer for today guys! Thank you so much for sending in your questions and I'm sorry I didn't get through them all. I'll probably do another Q&A in a few months time, but I hope this gives you all a little bit more of an insight into me.

Stay awesome.

Enjoying the Little Things

Over the last few weeks I've been having a really hard time with my mental health. I've started my new job and although I'm really enjoying it and loving every second of it, it means that I'm a lot busier than I use to be. I work 6-7 days a week with my three jobs and the reason why I wanted to be so busy was so that I could keep my mind off some of the things that have been bothering me recently and causing me issues. This did work at the start but now I feel like it's starting to go the other way and I'm beginning to burn the candle at both ends and burn myself out. I thought I was starting to get my life together a little but then I realised, I really wasn't. I was just distracting myself and not really trying to enjoy myself and get better.

What I've learn over the last week I would say is to appreciate the little things in life and enjoy the smaller moments and really savour them. I think that when you do suffer from anxiety and depression it can be difficult to appreciate these moments and overlook them because we're so focused on the negative. I found when I did have time and I wasn't working, I wasn't appreciating the small things and enjoying the little moments that I had with my friends or with my family.

It's so important when you're having a tough time to look at the positives and focus on that rather than the negative stuff going on in the back of your mind. I can often get consumed by the bad thoughts and it doesn't allow me to even have fun and I've realised how important it is to let go and just enjoy yourself. So here are some moments that have made me ridiculously happy and I keep looking back on whenever I'm feeling a bit shit to remind me that I can be happy and not sad or anxious the whole time.

So this is my good friend Miss Caitlyn, I met her through a work friend and for the last two years we have worked together at Explore. I literally love working with her in the centre, she makes me laugh and her being there calms me down a lot when I'm having a bad day. A load of us went to Nandos before training and as per, Caitlyn gets a her ketchup for her chips and burger. So she decided to get the ketchup down from the bottom of the bottle and turns it upside down and wacks it. However, the top of the bottle wasn't on properly and she got a lot of ketchup all over the table as well as her phone. I laughed so hard a bit of snot came out of my nose. She's an awesome friend and always there to listen to me, she's got my back no matter what.

Meet Dylan, he's a baby and started working where I work about two months ago and oh my god, I am so glad he did. He is legit the funniest guy I've ever met and such an awesome friend. He's sitting on a booster seat in this photo because he's only just turned 17 and we thought it was hilarious at the time. Again, he makes work so funny sometimes, like the other day he grabbed my leg while he was sitting down and both of us ended up falling over. He's like my little brother and I love spending time with him. He can be so annoying sometimes but most of the time he is actually pretty funny and full of the banter, even if he does spend £100 on shoes that aren't even that nice. I've just had some really awesome and hilarious moments with him over the past month or so and I'm glad he's been there for me. He's like the little brother I never had and he's the best. He has featured in a lot of my Snapchat stories recently, he's alright I guess.

For those of you who don't know, I'm also a social media ambassador for my university, UWTSD. I write blogs and promote the university on my professional Twitter account. A month or so ago I was asked by one of the staff members if they could feature one of my blogs  in a paper. I said yes of course and kinda forgot about it for a while. Then one of my housemates sent me this picture and said that my landlord at my uni house had left it in the kitchen for us to see. I don't know why but this made me ridiculously happy. I am dyslexic but something that I wrote is in a newspaper and it's the first thing ever that I've written to be in one. I've never really considered myself a good writer or that I could ever write anything that anyone would want to publish or read and now I realise that may not be completely true. So this is something that I am completely chuffed about and cannot believe that something I've written has actually been published. It's actually insane.

A week or so ago my brothers and my Dad went to see the new Star Trek movie and I didn't want to go so I dog sat my brother and my sister in laws dog, Nikki. I love this dog to pieces and she makes me realise how much I want to have a dog later on in life. My Mum and I took her for a walk down to this place called Polesden Lacey and it was just amazing to see her run around the place and see her so happy. She wouldn't leave my side and she insisted on sitting on my lap on the car journey there.

I think the most tranquil thing to happen to me over the past month was when I fed my horses and there was a full moon so it was pretty bright. I lay in the field where my horses are and looked up at the stars while they were grazing quietly around me. Dizzie, my pony, also came up and sniffed me then licked my arm which was pretty nice. It just felt so perfect and relaxing, I couldn't have asked for a better moment if I'm completely honest. It felt like something out of a movie.

What I'm trying to get at is that even though it has been hard for me recently, mental health wise, I'm still trying really hard to focus on the good things that has happened to me and made me smile. These are just a few examples, ever since I've been trying to enjoy the little things in life things just seem to be so much brighter and it feels like I've been smiling a lot more than I use to before. I would highly recommend to write down some amazing stuff that's happened to you guys over the past month and just remember how wonderful it was. You will always be able to create memories like that so instead of feeling down it's so important to go out and make those memories, I know how easy it can be to lock yourself away, but it'll make a world of a difference to go out and at least try to have fun.

Stay awesome

Fighting Negative Thoughts

A while ago I wrote about the different forms of negative thinking and how they can affect you. I mentioned that I would do another blog post on how you can challenge those negative ways of thinking and try to see things from a logical view point, so that is what this blog is all about. I'm also going to mention an App that I use to help with my anxiety and I highly recommend you downloading it to help you as well. But I'll get onto that later.

So as mentioned in my previous blog, there are lots of different ways in which we think negatively, and these negative thoughts and feelings are not exclusive to those with anxiety, everyone has these thoughts, but I suppose those who suffer with anxiety think them a little more often than others. If you want to take a look at the different ways in which you think negatively in detail look back at my old blog. I'll link it at the end of the blog for your ease of reading.

So that way that negative thinking works is that you have an automatic thought which is a self criticism, these automatic thoughts could be things like, 'I never do anything right', 'I'm always late', or 'I'll make an idiot of myself.' for example when you think you're going to be a little late for something. The first thing you need to do with these thoughts that you feel is work out what kind of thought distortion/negative thought it is. So, the 'I'm always late' thought is overgeneralisation, and the thought 'I'll make an idiot of myself' is labelling and fortune telling. Once you've worked out what the type of thought distortion is you can attempt to rationalise everything, you effectively substitute the illogical negative thoughts for something that is more rational and objective. You evaluate the horrible self criticisms that automatically fill your thoughts when something doesn't quite go the way you want it to or when a negative event occurs.

The App I mentioned earlier is so useful when attempting to do this. The App is free for the basic package of it and this feature is part of the free bit of the App. It's called Pacifica and there's loads of other features but I'm just going to talk about this one for now. So you basically can write thought records of your negative thoughts, the example of the right is from when I was doing a module at uni called Performing Shakespeare. What you do to start off with is writing down your thoughts, everything that you're feeling at that current moment in time, so this one is all about me worrying about failing and not doing very well in the module. I was finding it hard to learn my lines quick enough basically. So the stuff highlighted in red and crossed out is my original writing, What you do next is click and highlight every negative work and thought, so you have to look and see in your own thoughts what thoughts are negative or inaccurate, You then tap the negative thoughts and change them into more balanced thoughts rather than the negative ones and those thoughts are the ones highlighted in green. If you haven't got this App and you suffer from anxiety I would highly recommend it. It's such a good thing to do. I will probably write another post on the App itself. By the way, I'm not sponsored to write any of this!

One way to evaluate those negative thoughts if you're not very confident to do so or don't really know how to is by asking yourself a load of questions to evaluate the thoughts and make you think differently. These questions can include:

• Have I had experiences that suggest that this thought is not true all of the time?
• If a person I care about had this thought what would I say to them?
• Am I jumping to conclusions?
• Am I blaming myself for a situation that is not completely within my control?
• Are there positives in myself that I'm discounting?

These are just a few questions you can ask yourself but I'm sure once you get the hang of it you'll be able to come up with more. I know how hard it can be to fight those negative, automatic thoughts and rationalise them all, but the App is super helpful. I've been using it for about five months now and it's helped me enormously, so I would highly recommend downloading it and giving it a go. It does a step by step walk through of everything as well which is awesome. I hope this has been helpful for you guys and helps you in some way to fight and rationalise those negative thoughts. 

Stay awesome.

http://atelophobia-fear.blogspot.co.uk/2016/05/negative-ways-of-thinking.html

Finding Your Life Motto

So I watched a video the other day on Youtube by this Youtuber that I've been following for about five years now called Chyaz Samuels, I watch her videos quite frequently and she's the inspiration behind this blog post. In this video she talks about this funny phrase that became a life motto for her, she was reading a Buzzfeed article about weird children's books and one of the books said "Touch the cow, do it now" and she talks about how it kinda became a source of motivation for her and it made me think about what motto I use in life. I'll leave a link to her video at the end of this blog so you can see the whole video and what she says about life motto's. 

I think it's so important to find your own motto in life, for Chyaz it's something a little silly like "Touch the cow, do it now" but for me it's something a little different, before I get into my own life motto I'm going to explain why I think it's so important to have your own motto to live by and follow.

Sometimes in life we can often feel a little lost and unsure as to where we're going in life. There's points where you literally have no clue about what to do next and what's going to happen and this is where having a motto can potentially help you. When I turned 20 I had a sort of existential crisis about life, I know it's seems a bit melodramatic but when I had my 20th birthday I kinda didn't know where the hell I was going with my life. I had this internal dialogue of "I only have one year left of uni, then what? You're half way to forty, you have no idea what you're going to do after uni. You're going to live with your mum forever." Stuff like that and it was really shitty if I'm honest. I felt like I was in this weird limbo of life where I've finished my teenage years but I'm not technically an adult. It was weird, I didn't like it at all. I just felt quite lost and unsure of the future.

I feel like having  a motto sort of gives you something to focus on and move forward with, so when this video of Chyaz came out with her talking about "Touch the cow, do it now" I started to think what my own life motto should be and what I want to live by at this present moment. I think you can change your motto's from time to time as they may not apply to you anymore. I feel like motto's help you achieve your goals and if those goals change, so does the motto.

For those of you who don't know I am a massive Disney fan and my favourite Disney film of all time is The Lion King. I love it so much and it's like a part of me, sad, but true. The fact that The Lion King is loosely based on Hamlet as well makes me love it even more because I absolutely love Shakespeare. I feel like it has so many life lessons and is just a fantastic story, anyway, I was watching it with the guy I was seeing at the time and it made me realise how my motto for right now is staring me right in front of the face in this movie and it's what I've been trying to live up to for a long time.

If you're not familiar with The Lion King, which you totally should be by the way, there's this part towards the end where Simba is talking to Rafiki just before he goes back to save his kingdom. Rafiki wacks him on the head with his stick and they have a conversation about how it doesn't matter if it still hurts and Rafiki says possibly the most amazing thing ever:

"Oh yes the past can hurt, but the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it."

This is my life motto for right now, I have a really horrible past with boyfriends, depression, anxiety, self harm and so many other things. Now I can either run from my past and not deal with all the horrific things that has happened to me, or I can hold my head up high, accept that things haven't always gone the way I wanted them to and learn from the past. I think that's what I'm taking from this particular sentence anyway. Learn from your mistake and the things that hurt you, don't let them haunt you. I'm trying to not let my past define me as a person and I'm attempting to open up new doors for myself that I wouldn't have done normally because I was too scared to because of my past. That's not something I'm going to be letting happen anymore.

So if your life motto comes from a Buzzfeed article or from The Lion King it doesn't matter, I think it's important to have something to live by and use to help you work towards you goals. For me, this one is working perfectly for right now and hopefully you'll be able to find one that will change your life for the better

Stay awesome. 

Chyaz's Video
The Lion King Scene