It's Been A Stressful Week

I want to start off by apologising for the lack of blog posts recently, I've just finished my second year of university and the module that I was doing required me to learn a lot of lines so I didn't really have time to write anything. So major apologies there. 

This last week I've been having to deal with a lot of stress and anxiety mainly from my module and learning a lot of lines. Monday was probably my worst day, I had a panic attack in the morning because I was so paranoid about messing up my lines as I was so shaky on them so it was building up inside me for about half an hour, then it was my time to go on. I could feel my body getting ready to be sick and my friends told me to go to the toilet. I threw up about six times, and I couldn't control my breath and I began to feel so light headed. This went on for a good 20 minutes and I tried to get up and go outside but as soon as I got up I fainted and whacked my head on the toilet seat. 

I've had really bad panic attacks over the last few weeks, but I've had some really awesome support from my friends. I've been using my crisis box a lot as well, which has been so helpful for me. I've been burning the candles, colouring and playing with my Play-Doh mainly.

What I'm trying to get at is that I know how stressful things can get and how awful it can be when you are stressed. This week, although fun, has been the most stressed I've been in a long time. There were so many points where I wanted to give up and say no more, but I didn't I stuck through it and I'm really quite glad I did. It was so hard, I'm not going to lie, but I managed to not give up which is what I would usually do. 

I've had to step back a lot and try to rationalise all of my thoughts and feelings which was a really difficult thing to do. My lecturer was so helpful and I'm so thankful that he was understanding, I also had an amazing support network who were there for me no matter what which I'm so glad about. 

Sometimes with anxiety and depression you can often forget how many people do care about you or how many people want to see you do well. Even though I've had the week from hell, I've got through it. Life throws you curve balls every so often and it's about how you deal with the stress and the issues that comes from those curve balls. It's so important not to give up even if you really want to, because believe me there were times where I wanted to pack it all in and just give up. I was so ready to and run away from uni and just go home. 

I guess my point is that you can get over these bumps in the road and set backs with anxiety. Life is full of peaks and troughs and it's all about dealing with them, and you will be able to deal with them. Sometimes with a little help if needed but you'll get there. 

Stay awesome.